laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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