at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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