Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
