Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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