i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
