please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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