So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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