Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
