WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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