I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
