Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
