If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
