I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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