yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
two words: eviction party
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
