Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
