You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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