Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
