You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
