I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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