is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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