Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
