Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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