U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
