I CAN MOONWALK!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
