They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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