He asked me if I "almost moaned"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
