You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Of course I have a pirate flag
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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