My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
