Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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