Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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