Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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