Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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