I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I am available for nakedness
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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