I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i out mim tonsoeep
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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