it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
