my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
