Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
