We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
