how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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