shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Nicole vs. Life
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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