sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
