He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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