What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
