Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
