the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
