the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
