Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
