I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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