love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
