he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have already put on my inside pants.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
