i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
